In My Time Of Dying (Reboot)
by Neon1986
Summary: Originally written under my other pen name 'The Spinning Yarn Alchemist' back in 2008. Part One of the 'Unauthorised Access' Series. What happened after John was shot, and what went through both their minds...Set during the film. John/Sam, implied twincest.


**Title: **In My Time of Dying (Reboot)

**Author:** Neon1986

**Warning: **Implied twincest, Doom movie spoilers

**Disclaimer:** Doom (the movie) is owned by Universal Pictures.

**Summary:** Part One of the 'Unauthorised Access' Series. What happened after John was shot, and what went through both their minds...Set during the film. John/Sam, implied twincest.

**Authors Note: **I originally wrote this under the pen name 'The Spinning Yarn Alchemist' back in 2008. Having looked back at it I've decided to give this series another shot, starting with 'rebooting' this!

Part I: John

White-hot searing heat pierced his flesh as the bullet ricochet off the nanowall and buried itself into his side.

"John!" Gritting his teeth, he gripped her wrist in a bloodied hand as the zombies tried to get in through the failing nanowall. Her safety was all that mattered.

"C'mon!" The pain in his side gave way to adrenaline as they ran from the lab. John shot at the advancing creatures with one hand, the other wrapped around his twin's arm.

Once found somewhere safe, John barricaded them in with whatever he could find, the pain getting worse in his side as he fought to keep them safe for as long as possible.

"How long before they get through?"

"Not long..."

"You've been hit!" Lifting his gloved fingers away from the wound, a steady stream of crimson leaking from it, his legs started to give way from under him… "Oh John..."

_This is it…_

As he slumped to the floor, the warmth leaving his body with the blood that trickled from the bullet wound in his side causing him to shiver, John 'Reaper' Grimm was frightened…something he had not been in a long time.

He wasn't afraid of death, as a marine he stared death in the face almost every day. No…he was afraid of leaving Sam to the mercy of the creatures that roamed the base…just as he'd begun to know her again…

Their relationship had started to splinter after their parents' accident up on Mars. As the years went by the cracks grew bigger under the strain of trying to remain at some level of normality. John's decision to become a marine had been the final straw; they didn't talk after that, save for a brief communication on their birthday.

When Sam and John had been reunited on Mars, the tension was obvious between them. After ten years of little contact between the twins, their first conversations were less than friendly. It was as if they were meeting for the first time, both barely recognising the person in front of them.

"Sarge, this operation is a code red." He'd forced a smile at Sam. "We really don't have room for passengers." He didn't really want her with them. Anger flashed across Sam's face, simmering under her calm features.

"Excuse me, but I have orders to retrieve data from three servers." John was impressed at how she stuck up for herself while in the company of eight soldiers. His lips tilted up into an amused half smile as she continued to speak. "Anthropology, Forensic Archaeology and Genetics."

"This is a military operation, Doctor. We're really not here to retrieve your science homework." She had fixed him with a look that he'd remembered from when they were kids.

"Look, I got an idea. Why don't you ask your CO what your orders are?" Sarge and Sam both looked at him, his eyes shifting to Sarge as he waited for the answer.

"To contain and neutralise the threat, protect the civilians..." At that point John thought he'd won, until Sarge sighed and continued. "And retrieve UAC property." Lowering his eyes and sighing, John had realised once again she'd been right. When he looked back up she had simply nodded.

"We finally done here? Because I've got a job to do."

Sam had always said that twins were supposed to be two parts of the same person. They were opposites and yet one and the same. John and Sam shared wide eyes and full lips from their mother, but while Sam's features were soft and delicate and her colouring fair, John's features were deeper and harsher, and his colouring was dark.

When he had earned the nickname 'Reaper' from his team mates, John had begun to realise what Sam had said all those years before. He had always been the darker of the two, both in his physical appearance, but also his attitude and personality. And now, as he saw his sister, who had blossomed into a strong and beautiful woman, he knew it all to be true.

She was the light and he was the dark. But they were both the same.

That was the bond that twins shared.

He had been so intent on telling her how to work the ST grenade, his eyes growing heavy from exhaustion; he hadn't noticed how she was readying his arm...

"John, stay with me...Stay awake...John, stay with me, please." Blinking, a groan had sounded in his throat as he looked down at the needle Sam was about to put in his arm.

"What's that?"

"It's C-24...It's from Carmack's lab." As soon as he'd heard the name, he used what strength he had left to tear his arm away from her.

"No!" He growled through clenched teeth. He'd seen what happened, hell they all had. What would happen to her should he turn into one of those _things_? He would never forgive himself...

"It could save you."

"No way...forget it." He'd fixed her with a look both sad and determined. But she wouldn't give up so easily, she was his sister after all.

"You're bleeding to death."

"No way Sam." Breathing suddenly became more difficult as his heart started to slow. "I've done some bad things..." Sam fixed him with the same look he'd given her, the blue eyes boring into his green ones spoke more than words could.

"I know you..."

"You don't know me." It hurt to say it, but he felt it was true. "You don't know..."

"You're my brother...I know you." His already slowing heart raced with the last ounces of energy it had left as she lowered the needle to his arm...

"Wait..." The first time had been a mere whisper. "Wait." The second time was louder, causing Sam to look up. Searching through his belt, he picked up a gun. "If I should turn into one of those..." He clenched his teeth as he shook with the strength it took to raise the weapon to eye level, "demons. One through the heart, one through the head, don't you hesitate. Okay?"

She'd pulled his arm down as the trembling increased. It took control of his body as she pierced his skin with the needle and pushed the plunger down. The C-24 quickly spread through his veins, icy and electric, as he slumped sideways onto the floor.

_You're my brother...I know you..._

When he woke up, he felt renewed as the C-24 flowed through his veins, bestowing him with abilities that no normal human being had. Pulling himself up from the cold floor, she was the first thing on his mind.

"Sam?"

Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he'd walked over and tilted his head to the side, wiping the blood from his face where the deep gash across his cheek had disappeared, not even leaving a scar...

After reloading his gun and blasting his way through several imps, countless zombies and the mutated demon that had once been Pinky, he had found himself in the Ark exit. Checking the area, he had found Sam on the floor in the facility's exit. Gently stroking back her blonde hair, he saw her eye's flutter.

"Sam…"

"You're alive…"

"Shhh don't talk..."

"Last man standing...Reaper." It was Sarge, holding the BFG with a sinister look in his eyes. John looked up at him as the RRTS leader's eyes wandered over to Sam. "I think she needs medical attention..." That's when he'd seen the open wound on his neck.

Sarge was infected...

His hand still resting on Sam's back, John never took his eyes off the man in front of him. This guy, who was once his friend, was now bad news..._real _bad news...

"Can you get to the elevator?" Glancing down at his sister, he saw her blue eyes were on Sarge also and felt her tremble under his hand.

"I'm not sure..."

"Try..." She had to get out of there...he'd never forgive himself if she didn't make it out of there, even if he didn't.

His fight with the infected Sarge had been tough. The other man was taller, heavier and growing stronger with every passing minute. He was also smart, not like the imps who ran mindlessly towards the barrel of a gun. The C-24 had made them both almost equal when they had exhausted their ammunition and resorted to their fists.

When Sarge had thrust the metal rod into his palm, John had barely noticed. As the larger man tried to push it towards John's face, he had noticed the sudden change in the CO's features...it was the change that had occurred in Goat and Carmack. The change must have caused a rush of strength, because John was finding it harder to keep the pole from going through his face.

_***Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep***_

The nearby console showed that the Ark was out of quarantine and on standby. Summoning all his might, John held Sarge away just long enough to bend the metal pole around both of their hands, locking the larger man into his grip. Stunning him with a head butt, John slammed his hand onto the activate button for the Ark and kicked away from the wall. Still locked together, John used the momentum to swing Sarge around into the Ark. As the snarling madman was being sucked into the transport system, John waited for his moment…

_Three...two...one_

Straightening his hand, John watched the pole cut through flesh and bone, between his middle and ring finger as Sarge was sucked into the Ark and back to Olduvai. Holding his hand up to inspect the wound, he found that the jagged split had already healed, leaving him only with a torn, bloodstained glove as a reminder. He found an ST grenade in one of the discarded belts and popped the lid.

"Like The Kid said..." He paused, pressing the button down with a strange sense of satisfaction, "Go to hell." Throwing the beeping weapon into the Ark, John sealed the fate of his CO, the facility, and any other knowledge of C-24.

On his way to the elevator, he'd found Sam slumped against a nearby wall. A rush of pride for his twin rushed through him as he gently picked her up and walked into the elevator. He held her close to his chest and activated the elevator, a bloodstained Angel of Death and his precious cargo. Looking upwards, he saw sunlight at the top and was thankful they'd made it. Glancing down at his sister, he watched her face for a moment as she held onto his neck.

She looked so fragile, so delicate…

"Almost home." The statement as barely audible and weighted down by so many emotions that John was surprised it even passed his lips. He felt her forehead brush his cheek, as she moved her head to nod.

John had always been the protector ever since they were young. This had probably influenced his decision to join the marines. Becoming a scientist like Sam would have just kept old wounds open. He'd needed something to take up his time and make him forget the incident that caused the death of their parents. Over time he'd become a quick and efficient killer, unaffected by the sight or smell of blood or rotting flesh.

But now…now she had entered his life once more and he'd found himself feeling things he hadn't done in a long time. Time as a marine had caused him to loose most other emotions, leaving only the base ones needed when one was fighting to survive. But what was worrying the soldier the most, was the fact that what he was now feeling for his twin now ran deeper than love for a sibling should…way deeper. The first inkling of it had been after their first meeting in 10 years on Olduvai, when Duke had expressed his opinion on Sam.

"Tell me you didn't let a fine-lookin' piece of ass like that get away from you, Reaper." He knew his team mate was only making conversation, but he'd felt a stab of jealousy that he'd never thought was there.

"She's my sister," came the brief reply before John had walked away. The first conversation between the twins had been less than friendly, but John had seen how his sister was a smart and capable woman, not to mention extremely beautiful, who was more than able to stand up for herself and her beliefs. At that moment, John felt the stirrings of something that shouldn't be there, something that he knew was wrong, but felt so right.

He was now torn between his brain telling him this was wrong and could only end badly…and his heart calling for the only person to teach him to feel again.

And he knew which scared him most.

**Part II: Sam**

Pain and disbelief twisted her brother's features as he removed his fingers from the leaking wound in his side, the red liquid trickling down his leg onto the floor.

"You've been hit!" Rushing over to him, she pressed her hand to the wound, the red staining her white clothes and pale fingers. "Oh, John…"

Oh God, John…

She saw pain and sadness flit across his green eyes as he leant back against the wall and slowly slid down it until he hit the floor, the deep emerald depths of his eyes already starting to fade. Dr. Samantha 'Sam' Grimm was frightened…something she seemed to be quite a bit lately.

At that moment she wasn't afraid of the imps or zombies, but of losing her brother, just as she'd begun to know him again.

Sam had felt them grow increasingly distant after their parents' accident. The stress of the tragedy coupled with time had caused them to drift apart, until they severed most ties with each other when John became a marine. She had truly believed that that would be the last time she'd ever see him. They hadn't seen each other for years, only communicating once a year on their birthday.

John had been a brilliant and gifted student, who would have gone far if he'd chosen science as his career, just like she did. But at the last moment, he'd thrown it all away to join the Rapid Response Tactical Squad. Old emotions had been relived as she'd discussed her and John's past with Duke while fishing out her flashlight out of the throat of one of the mutated scientists.

"Little tension between you and Reaper?"

_You wouldn't believe…_Sam wrapped her gloved fingers around the light.

"We just went our separate ways." She knew it was a lie, only a fragment of the truth. She knew John couldn't face following in their parents' footsteps because the past was still too raw for him, even after all these years. "Why does a talented student throw it all away to join RRTS?"

"So what was he like before?" Duke asked, releasing the mutant's jaws once Sam had withdrawn her hand.

"Who, John?"

"Yeah."

"Empathetic, sensitive…" John had been a totally different person before the RRTS. He'd been more conscious of others feelings, gentler…happier. The change was physical too, his features were harsher and leaner than before, his hair was shorter than before and his full lips never smiled.

"It's kinda hard for me to imagine Reaper as sensitive."

"Well, I knew Reaper before all the "drop down and give me 50, woo-ha" stuff."

When the platoon had arrived, she'd found the testosterone suffocating at the best of times. While they had intimidated most of the male scientists, let alone the female ones, Sam just saw them as the hired muscle and nothing to be scared of. John had been cold and patronising in their first conversation face to face in over ten years, completely different to the boy he had been…it was as if he was a completely different person.

"Sarge, this operation is a code red. We really don't have room for passengers." She'd bristled at the comment but willed herself not to rise to the bait.

"Excuse me, but I have orders to retrieve data from three servers: Anthropology, Forensic Archaeology and Genetics." John's lips moved into a slight amused smile.

"This is a military operation, Doctor. We're really not here to retrieve your science homework." What she wouldn't have given to have slapped that humoured look off his smug face…But Sam had knowledge on her side…

"Look, I got an idea. Why don't you ask your CO what your orders are?" John had looked over at Sarge, the whole team wanting to know what she was getting at.

"To contain and neutralise the threat, protect the civilians..." John started to look over at Sam as Sarge sighed and continued, "and retrieve...UAC property" Green eyes had lowered to the floor for a moment, as John had realised she'd scored _that_ point. But she felt no need to act triumphant, there were more important matters than bettering her twin for once.

"We finally done here? Because I've got a job to do."

She remembered what she had told him many years ago. She'd told him that people believed twins to be two parts of the same person. They were opposites and yet the same. Both she and John had wide eyes and full lips, courtesy of their mother, and a calm nature that expressed little emotion on the outside from their father. Her features were fair and definitely feminine, while John's were deeper and his colouring dark. He'd grown into a handsome, well-built man, with piercing green eyes, tanned skin and dark brown hair. Totally different to her snow-white skin, sapphire eyes and light blonde hair.

Dark and light, hard and soft, male and female, ying and yang.

They were two halves of one whole.

And as she had watched her brother, now a handsome, brave and deadly fighter, she knew it all to be true. She had always strived to do what was right and tried to retain an air of goodness. But as John found out, underneath the soft, fair exterior was a brave and strong woman who could hold her own when it was required of her.

She was the light and he was the dark. But they were both the same.

That was the bond that twins shared.

When John had told her he was leaving to join the Marines, Sam was hurt that he didn't want to work along side her and carry on with the research their parents had started years before. He was willing to throw it all away to become a solider. Why hadn't he told her before? As twins, they'd been close before, telling the other what they felt. But he'd kept this to himself all this time, and that's what had hurt the most.

"Sam…" "Why didn't you tell me?"

"_Because I knew you'd just try to stop me."_

"I don't even know who you are any more."

"_Look. If you want to spend the rest of your life looking down a microscope then that's fine, but this is what I want to do."_

She hadn't tried to stop him; she hadn't screamed or shouted, begged or pleaded with him. She knew that it would only fall on deaf ears; John was incredibly stubborn when he set his mind on something. When she thought about it now, she could see the similarities between them; neither of them showed their feelings and both able to stay calm while others around them succumbed to panic.

Before the zombies had forced them to retreat, she had grabbed a vial of C-24 off the desk in Dr. Carmack's office. And now, as her brother lay dying on the floor, she knew what she had to do. She'd be damned if she was going to lose him to a stray bullet that had, by chance, hit him. C-24 only mutated those who had it in them for psychotic behaviour, and although John was a soldier she knew in her heart he was still a good and kind man. Therefore the C-24 would increase his strength, speed and healing, turning him into the ultimate fighter…and not one of the creatures rampaging through the facility.

He had been too busy telling her to work a ST to notice her tying a strip of cloth around his arm to bring up a vein. She had looked up to see his eyes start to close, exhaustion and blood loss causing him to loose consciousness.

"John, stay with me…Stay awake." A groan had bubbled in his throat as he blinked a couple of times. "John, stay with me, please."

"What's that?"

"It's C-24...It's from Carmack's lab." She knew what his reaction would be. Sure enough, John managed to pull his arm away.

"No!" He'd bit the word out. She knew how he felt about it and that he believed he wasn't a good person.

"It could save you."

"No way…forget it." She matched his determined glare, she wasn't going to loose him after just getting him back.

"You're bleeding to death." _And I'm not giving up on you._

"No way Sam." She watched as his breathing changed as his body started to slow down. "I've done some bad things..." _Bad things don't make you a bad person John..._Fixing him with her azure stare, blue boring into green spoke more than words ever could.

"I know you..."

"You don't know me." The sadness in his eyes as he said it almost broke her heart. "You don't know..."

"You're my brother...I know you." She held his gaze for a second before lowering the needle to his arm...

"Wait..." The faint whisper caused her to stop. "Wait." The second time was louder, causing her to look up from his arm. She saw him get something from his belt. "If I should turn into one of those..." He shook with the effort it took for him to raise the gun, gritting his teeth, "demons. One through the heart, one through the head, don't you hesitate. Okay?"

That risk was that last thing Sam wanted to think about as she pulled his arm down as the trembling increased, taking over his body as she pierced the needle into his flesh. She uttered a silent prayer as she pushed the plunger down, releasing the C-24 into his vein.

He'd relaxed seconds after she'd administered the synthetic chromosome into his bloodstream, slumping onto the floor.

_You're my brother...I know you..._

Sarge had rampaged through the facility's exit, slaughtering innocent people as he went. She had managed to hide and pretend she was among the fatalities, struggling to not whimper from her injuries.

It had felt like forever as she lay there, hearing Sarge shooting innocent people as they pleaded for him to help them. Silent tears ran down her cheeks as she felt powerless to help them. She'd almost given up hope when a warm and gentle hand brushed her hair out of her face, and a deep, low voice spoke her name.

"Sam..." Looking up from where she lay, she saw her brother's face above her, blood streaked and perfect. Her heart soared as she turned to face him; she knew she was safe now.

"You're alive..." She'd managed to say.

"Shhh, don't talk."

"Last man standing...Reaper." It was Sarge, holding the BFG in his hands as he looked down at her. The look in his eyes caused Sam to tremble. "I think she needs medical attention..." That's when she'd seen the open wound on his neck.

Sarge was infected...

John's hand was still on her back as he glared at the man in front of them. Sam knew what John was going to do...

"Can you get to the elevator?" Her eyes were fixed on Sarge.

"I'm not sure..."

"Try..."

She had just managed to drag herself to the elevator with the last of her strength. Collapsing against the wall, she prayed that John would survive and they would escape this place together.

As she slipped in and out of consciousness, she knew in her heart that John would come out victorious. It wasn't just because of the superhuman strength he now possessed or the age old faith in that good will triumph over evil, but also because she believed in him, _him_...John...her twin...her brother...the other half of her soul.

She was vaguely aware of the two strong arms that gently picked her up off the floor, cradling her to a firm, warm chest. Barely having the energy to open her eyes, she wrapped her arms around his neck and knew it was her brother. Inhaling his familiar musky scent, she mustered the strength to lift her head and open her eyes. He lowered his eyes from above and looked down at her, sharing her gaze for a moment.

He looked so strong, so powerful…

"Almost home." The baritone voice whispered by her ear, it was barely heard but it comforted Sam. A small smile tugged at her lips as they locked eyes for a moment before she slipped back into unconsciousness.

Sam had always let him protect her when they were children. When she thought about it, it hadn't really surprised her when he informed her of his decision to join the marines. If he wasn't going to protect her, he was going to protect others instead. So while he did that, she became a forensic archaeologist, digging up the bones of the past and trying to find answers. She needed something to take up her time and make her forget. Over time she'd become a skilled and proficient scientist, quick with the tools of her trade.

But now he had entered her life once more, she found herself feeling things that she had tried to block out of her life and replace with work. Time alone had caused her to loose sight of such romantic notions of finding someone who would care for her; to understand her like he had all that time ago. But what was worrying the scientist most, was the fact that what she was feeling for her twin was now so much deeper than the love she should have for him.

The first inkling of it had been when they had first met face to face after ten years on Olduvai, when they had first exchanged short, clipped greetings.

"Hello John." He had been looking at her even before she had turned her gaze upon him. Her first thoughts were of how much he had changed since she'd last seen him. This John was stronger, leaner, his face an emotionless mask. The only things that expressed how he felt inside were those forest green eyes of his that she loved to look in.

"Hello Samantha." He held her in those green depths as he returned her greeting. It was like she was greeting a stranger, all traces of the boy she had once known were long gone. Despite all the hurt and anger that she still felt, her heart raced as he stared her down. At that moment, Sam felt the stirrings of something that shouldn't be there, something that she knew was wrong, but felt so...right.

She was torn between the fact that such a dangerous and forbidden love was frowned upon and the fact that her heart cried out for the only person to make her feel this way.

And she knew which scared her most.

The End.


End file.
